I Hate Poems (Anonymous)

I Hate Poems 

I try to write a poem,
but poems are too hard
Rhyming is for losers
and airy-fairy bards

To put a pen to paper
and write about your life
I've had enough of all of those,
they only cause me strife

Free-verse script is awful,
for fools without a beat
Repetition's far too simple
just repeat, repeat, REPEAT

Those lovey-dovey ode-things,
that wishy-washy crap
And poems about hatred,
you all deserve a slap

Spare me all your ramblings,
I don't care how you feel
Your self-expression surely stinks
of mouldy day-old eel

To tell a tale of wonder
never ceases to be trite
To sing of magic wonders
is nothing but pure shite

Your metaphors are useless,
your imagery is vile
Your sense of diction makes me gag,
I cannot stand your style

So save me your quotations,
please spare me all your rhyme
Shove that poem up your rear
and cease to waste my time


I look at what I've written,
this jumble of clichés
Looks like I wrote a bloody poem
so I'm the one to blame! (Report)